James Hill Photography

Eating one's own bird food.

2010-02-21T16:38:00.003-05:00

Some of you have seen and warmly commented on my freshly baked bread photo, so you're aware that I can occasionally cook something yummy, which also photographs well. Unfortunately that image gave rise to some assumptions that an appetizing image is indicative of one's overall skill and consistency in culinary craft. Well, today's image is considerably different. Read on if you care to learn about my fifty-cent food fiasco from yesterday. Otherwise, click away, click away fast.

It was time to clean out the fridge and in doing so I found a pound of suspect bacon hiding in the back, under some innocent spinach tortillas. The tortillas were green, as should be expected, but fortunately the bacon had not yet acquired such garish color. The use-by date however was quickly approaching, so there was only one practical thing to do; render down the whole pound and make bacon soap! Just kidding. I rendered it down and saved the remaining minuscule amount of questionably digestible crispy meaty bits for salad toppings. I containerized the grease for some future high fat, high flavor cooking.

I love bacon. Who doesn't, right? Those who don't are probably lying anyway. Even though I love it, I seldom buy it to cook at home; hence the almost past prime package I discovered lurking in the back of the fridge. The problem with bacon is it's impossible to cook without getting even more hungry. I mean that's a smell that could cause even rocks to salivate. And boy how it made me hungry, and for more than a simple salad too. With stomach grumbling, I grabbed a box of corn-muffin mix and decided to make corn fritters in a Jiffy. Sounded like a good plan since I had an already hot, well-greased pan, some leftover corn, and roughly an ounce of actual bacon remains standing by for garnish. Makes me think they should price bacon by the net cooked weight. An ounce of salty cured pork flesh surely should not cost five bucks or more.

So, obviously the photo above is not of bacon nor of fritters, so here's where bird food and foolishness enters the picture. With mix, corn, and milk already commingling in a bowl like singles at a bar; I removed the lonely remaining egg from the safe confines of it's post-consumer recycled cardboard carton, and promptly deposited said egg directly into the center of the floor with a disheartening splatter. That's right, egg on my feet. That's _never_ a good thing. To paraphrase my least favorite, formerly incarcerated, TV cook-tress.

With no egg left for binder in the batter, no bananas in the basket, and not enough brains to remember I could have used the flax seed in the fridge, I persevered with my new plan for binder-free fritters and proceeded to spoon my now questionable concoction into two small fritter-esque sized portions in the pan. The buttons of batter bubbled and browned brilliantly. The wafting aroma was wonderful, albeit not as wonderful as the bacon. Things were looking up. Then tragedy struck. Once my new BFFs were undermined by Mr. Spatula, {diabolical laugh} they literally fell apart into a less than appetizing loose lumpy and considerably unsightly mess.

Not one to assume appearance holds all keys to happiness, I tasted the fragrant but frightful results with what I can only describe as pessimistic optimism. You know what? That's actually not bad. Not something I'll try to do again on purpose, but not nearly as displeasing as disfigured. Definitely not fodder destined for the birds. Actually the resident birds have become accustomed to apprehensively approaching any suspicious amount of "human food" I toss. They even have an appointed taster, just to be sure.

Convinced the product was edible, and only the process need alteration, I thinned the remaining batter slightly and poured the sum of slurry into the hot pan, with the idea to finish if by browning under the broiler. I'd reclassify it as crumbly corncake. Perhaps I'd stumbled onto something new and exciting; or perhaps I'd simply cracked my head, like the ill-fated egg. Regardless, exactly one second after pouring batter in pan, I realized the oven would never heat fast enough to brown the top of my destined disaster before the bottom burned blacker than the cast iron pan it was now half baked in. If anything, I am perpetually under-prepared when I cook unplanned. "It's a good thing" (TM) no one's watching.

Thank (deity of choice) for A. B. and his MacGyver-like low-tech innovations to highbrow cooking on Good Eats. Because of his penchant for both flame and frugality, I was reminded that I could fire up my LP blowtorch -usually reserved for soldering pipe, but which I now keep in the pantry next to an ABC extinguisher- and use the propane plumbers-aid to put the finishing GB&D touches on top of my corny mess of masa madness. And, by Jove, it worked! Like that should spark surprise among Zeus's masses.

At long last, the precise point of my rather long-winded rambling is to confirm that outward appearances often deceive onlookers; and pretty pictures, though succinct, seldom portray sufficiently a comprehensive story. My culinary skills sometimes suffer and the crumbly corncake concoction may not appear appetizing in images displayed or described, but crumbs are all that remain to dispute how it tasted. And to top it all off, the cabin is still infused with bacon-y goodness, which I suspect will stay with me for a while. Mmm, bacon.

2010-02-21T16:29:00.000-05:00

20100206-4486 - Baking bread and breaking sauces.

A few of you have wondered where I've been, so here's a clue as to what I've been up to for the last couple months.

On the menu tonight:

Arugula and spinach salad with sliced mushrooms,
red & yellow peppers, walnuts, and poppy seed dressing.

Smoked wild Alaskan salmon with a garlic & cracked pepper crust.

Asparagus sauteed in coconut oil.

A very broken Neufchâtel cream sauce for the fish and asparagus, which looked a mess but tasted wonderful nonetheless. (note: start with room temp cheese and use _LOW_ heat next time)

And, last but not least, two small loaves of whole wheat "steakhouse" bread. Sort of a hearty & sweet wheat that called for honey, coco, coffee, and sugar. I added molasses and cracked flax seed just because I could. Besides, I like my bread to reflect who I am - a little sweet, a little dense, a little nutty, and somewhat crusty.

2010-02-21T16:22:00.002-05:00

I've not picked up my camera for a month and although I was really starting to miss the dailies, almost everything outside has been pretty drab looking with all the insect damage and old brown growth of late summer. I've been itching to take some photos but just couldn't find anything inspiring to shoot. Then, almost like clockwork, this little guy came walking up while I was eating dinner tonight and paused long enough for me to get a few shots out the front door. So Kris (K Dunlap) this one is for you. It only took me 3 months more than expected, but I finally managed a few pictures of spots. : )

The original crop was a horizontal, and not all that interesting, so I added the faux reflection using software. I've fiddled with it too long now to make a honest judgment about how convincing it is, so feel free to let me know if it doesn't work.

2009-09-01T12:36:00.002-04:00

New iris bloom after a rain.

Tiny Red Bug

2009-08-27T11:17:00.002-04:00

Blogged with the Flock Browser

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2009-08-25T16:39:00.001-04:00

Lamp Abstract

2009-08-10T13:35:00.003-04:00

Lamp Abstract Triptych

Colorful Grapes

2009-08-05T15:45:00.003-04:00

The same bunch of green grapes as before, after another week hanging on the vine.

A Neighbor's Horses

2009-08-04T12:25:00.005-04:00

One of two horses in a small but beautiful pasture just around the corner from home. I shot these guys on two evenings this spring when the grass in the pasture was lush and green.

Cherries

2009-08-04T12:00:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wish I could paint. Mostly when I have a really hard time getting what I want with a particular photograph. I mean it would be so much easier to just add light, shadow, and color with a brush, right? You even have complete control over focus. It sounds simple, but believe me when I tell you my artistic abilities stop at the end of my shutter finger. I guess that means I'll keep resorting to software and pixels, and a lot of trial and error.

Green Grapes

2009-07-30T13:44:00.002-04:00

A small bunch of grapes from My Neighbor's Garden.

Images from my "What I Did Today" Gallery.

2009-07-23T14:44:00.002-04:00

Bay 7 @ the American Tobacco Campus

2009-07-21T12:55:00.007-04:00

Exterior of Bay 7, during intermission at one of WUNC's Back Porch Music Concerts.

2009 Festival for the Eno Photo Highlights

2009-07-19T13:35:00.006-04:00

A random sampling of photos from the 2009 Festival for the Eno.

The Festival for the Eno is a 3 day music and crafts festival presented by the Eno River Association to raise money for and spread awareness about protecting lands in the Eno River basin. The Eno River runs through Durham and Orange counties, in central North Carolina. The anual festival is held over the weekend closest to the 4th of July, and it takes place at West Point on the Eno Park. With four stages, close to 100 performances, and lot of vendors selling unique hand-made crafts, there is more than enough to keep a photographer occupied all weekend.